Baby Got Bloat

With the whole incipient git obsession I’ve been cleaning out some of my scratch dirs. In one, last touched in mid-2006, I found:

Oh. My. God.
Becky, look at that bloat!
It's so big...
It looks like one of those Microsoft products...
Who understands those Microsoft guys anyway?
They only code that crap because they're paid by the line...
I mean the bloat...
It's just so slow...
I can't believe it's so laggy...
It's just bloated...
I mean, gross...
Look, that just ain't a Hack.

I like big apps and I cannot lie.
You other bruthas can't deny,
That when some perl comes by, not a symbol to waste
Like line-noise, cut and paste --
You're bewitched;
But now my context's switched,
Coz I notice that glest's got glitz.
Oh BABY! I wanna apt-get ya,
Coz you got pictures,
Those hackers tried to warn me,
But the bling you got
/Make me so horny/
Oooo, app fantastic,
You say you wanna fill up my drive?
Well, use me, use me, coz you ain't that average GUI.

I've seen them typing,
To hell with reciting,
I point, and click, and never miss a single trick.

I'm tired of tech websites,
Sayin' command lines are the thing.
Ask the average power user what makes them tick --
You gotta point and click.

So hackers! (Yeah!) Hackers! (Yeah!)
Has your UI got the G? (Hell Yeah!)
Well click it (click it), click it (click it), and use that healthy glitz,
Baby got bloat.

(vi code with a KDE UI...)

And before you ask, no, I don’t know what I was drinking…

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